roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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