I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
