when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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