but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
is wine microwaveable?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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