My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I love having hate sex.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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