I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
