I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
