i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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