oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
