so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
