Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
this beer tastes like vomit already
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
