She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
