i already hear my dad disowning me
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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