but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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