Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Sorry about my life...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
