Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize