i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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