it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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