Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize