So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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