I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
