I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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