so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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