Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
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