That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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