I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
