Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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