you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
