is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
