I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
