how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
