Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
