So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
