people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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