I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
