My first STD was from a foam party
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
3 2 1 whiskey
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
