no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
