they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
