Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
