HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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