i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
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