This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
