didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
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