This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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