I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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