you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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