this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
