Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
