I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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