I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
