I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
