I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
