remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
