He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
