Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
