but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
