u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
