ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
