i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
