Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
