This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
