Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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