people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
