We're like a lot better than the average bears
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
